Rantings Of An Asian Girl: Taking The Husband’s Last Name Dilemma

There are many great things about being Asian: people always assume you are smarter than you might actually be, you look 5 years younger than your age, people always think you’re a “good kid”, etc.  But one of the things that suck about being Asian (aside from height disadvantages and all) is that our last names, for most parts, sound like bashing two pots together: Chung, Kong, Bang.  I know, this isn’t that big of a deal, but it kinda sucks when you start thinking about things like whether to keep your maiden name, take your husband’s last name or hyphenate it.

After some thought, there’s just no chance for me to hyphenate my maiden name with my future husband’s last name.   Our last names are just not made to be combined.  Jessica Cheung-Chiu, Becky Chung-Kong or Linda Ho-Li just doesn’t have that same ring as Jessica Gallagher-Reese, let’s say.

So now it’s down to keeping my last name or taking my future husband’s last name.  I have no problem with my children taking my husband’s last name, but as a quasi feminist, I think the union is a partnership of equals, which means there’s no need for me to change my last name.  I am sure the traditional in-laws will have an issue with this.  Lo and behold, I have a solution.  This must be the smart Asian gene working because I’m not usually this clever.  How about taking the husband’s last name when it comes to legal matters where we need to be perceived as a family like buying a house or signing the kids’ birth certificates.  But, for professional and all other purposes, I would keep my maiden name?  How’s that for a solution?

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7 Responses to “Rantings Of An Asian Girl: Taking The Husband’s Last Name Dilemma”
  1. Rebecca says:

    This is interesting. I am Asian too and a lot of people think I am 5 years younger than I look. I guess that will be a good thing one day. As for changing your last name or keeping your maiden name after marriage, you could possibly keep your maiden name and add on his last name. That’s just an idea though.

  2. Haumea says:

    Or you can cut out the “quasi-feminist” nonsense and simplify your life.

  3. You can’t have cake and eat it too. That’s all I’m going to say. Haha.

  4. Nylorac says:

    I’m Asian and I don’t think all of our last names sound as gratingly bad as you think.

    And in traditional Chinese culture, women never take their husband’s last names. And it would be absurd for me to take my husband’s last name. I love my last name, and am proud of my heritage.

    If you don’t think you would like to hyphenate or combine your last names… then don’t.

    • pillowchats says:

      I guess I am not as traditional as I thought because I always thought that in Chinese culture, women taken their husband’s last name.

      I love my heritage as well, which is why I am inclined to keep my own name. But, in the spirit of being “we” and not just “me” or “he” (compromising), I should at least consider other possibilities.

      But, you just gave me more ammunition for my case 🙂

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