The Fixer Upper BF/GF – To Fix Or Not To Fix?


Typical of romantic comedies/chick flicks that take place in a high school, the popular guy/girl takes a nerdy girl/guy and magically transforms them into the most sought out person in school by taking off the glasses, giving them a new hair style and a trendy wardrobe.  This happens in real life too – they are called the fixer uppers.  The fixer uppers are people who have great personalities and potential to be a significant other, but they are missing that special something that will make you proud to take them out and show them off.

While I cannot speak on behalf of men, I know that girls will usually slowly invade their boyfriend’s closet by buying them clothes for birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, etc.  Girls will also take their boyfriend shopping and hope the guy will pick up on a fashion pointer or two.  Before you know it, the guy’s entire wardrobe has changed.  While most girls think this is great, others may not.  My friend and I have been talking, she is dating someone she considers a fixer upper, and concluded that it may be best NOT to fix him up.

Why?  Simple.  A fixer upper by definition has potential to be more attractive.  So once this fixer upper reaches his potential, he may deem himself deserving of a better girlfriend, one who isn’t going to “change him” (even if he acknowledges it’s for the better).  With his new found potential, he can go and find a new girlfriend.  My girlfriend considers her boyfriend a fixer upper, but will not fix him up until they tie the knot.  In her mind, there’s no reason to spend time improving a guy for some other girl.  Moreover, her theory is that if he realizes how much potential he has, he would leave her for someone else.  Some people may call her insecure, but it’s not insecurity that is influencing her decision.

So, on one hand, you don’t want to waste your time upgrading someone who may not be your lifelong partner to ensure that he doesn’t leave you.  On the other, should you upgrade him anyways because if he is going to leave you because he thinks he can find someone better, wouldn’t you rather find out before you tie the knot?

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