(S)He Didn’t Satisfy The Girlfriend/Boyfriend Checklist

Do you know what you really want out of life, out of a partner? I know for sure I don’t have the slightest clue, but I like to tell myself, my friends, and my parents that I know what I want and how I am going to get it. We think we know ourselves when we say things like “I would never take a cheater back” or “I am totally over him”, but when those situations arise, we sometimes find ourselves doing what we didn’t exactly expect us to do.  What I am trying to say in many words, is that because we don’t know exactly what we are looking for in a partner, many make up a checklist to assist us in evaluating someone as a potential partner.

We make these checklists and expect our boyfriend/girlfriend to meet all, or substantially all the items we want in our ideal “the one”.  Perhaps you are more romantic, but I think that a person who is smart, good-looking, totally loyal, tall, built, funny, career-driven, has balanced priorities, enjoys the better things in life, likes to travel, treats me like a princess, charismatic, wants to have children, and always smells good doesn’t exist (or are few, and some smarter woman already put her dibs on him).  Come to think of it, when we make up these must-have qualities, are we are setting ourselves up for disappointment?  Furthermore, as we grow and live, do we learn more and become even more specific with what we think we want in a partner, resulting in a more refined list; the list that becomes more and more impossible to meet?

Thinking back, when we were young, we have fewer expectations and view the world through very utopian lens.  But, as we live and learn, expectations grow, while hopes have been dashed.  The longer we wait, the more we feel we owe it to ourselves to hold out for that perfect partner who will meet most, if not all our checklist requirements.

I am personally against a lengthy, detailed list.  The list that I do keep is one that evolves through trial and error (my trials, my friends errors, it doesn’t really matter).  This list will tell me what I know I don’t want in a partner.  It’s a much easier checklist to meet and a much more realistic one.  It’s hard for us to really know what we want and need – they change with time, but it’s very easy to pick out what we don’t want.

One Response to “(S)He Didn’t Satisfy The Girlfriend/Boyfriend Checklist”
  1. robinesque says:

    mmm… this gives some good food for thought for what I have begun to term the endless series of disappointments, ie dating. And you are right, the list of lessons learned is the more important one to keep in mind!

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