Saying “No” To Prenups

“What would I do if I had a couple of million under the belt: go on vacation, do all the responsible stuff like stash away a large portion of it, and oh yea, sign a prenup.”   Sounds like a lot of guys I know.  While guys insist on signing a prenup, the females were equally, if not more, emotionally adamant about a no prenup policy.

Clarification: most people think that a prenup agreement just involve securing assets owned prior to marriage, but that is not true at all.  A prenup agreement is flexible, and can basically include things like who gets the real estate properties, alimony obligations, premarital debt, etc.  There can even be clauses that include what happens if the husband or wife cheats, to protect the other.

Many girls are against prenups.  Mainly because we are more romantic, and don’t think that marriage should involve financial concerns.  But taking it a step deeper, this is why I am personally against it.

A family is an institution built on trust, and hard work from both parties; whether it’s work inside or outside of the home.  In any family, either both parties work or one parent works while the other (mostly woman) takes care of the children.   The woman’s job in maintaining an orderly and loving family life is crucial to the husband’s success in the workplace; so, why shouldn’t she be entitled to half of whatever he makes if things go sour?  I honestly believe that a woman who devotes her life to taking care of the family should be entitled to more money because she put her career, youth, social life, time, and everything behind the needs of her family.  She is basically giving up her financial independence by having to rely on her husband.  Sure, she can continue to work, and balance herself out, but let’s be realistic, with the cost of a nanny or daycare these days, you might as well not work, and take care of the children yourself.  At least that way, you don’t have to worry about your children being mistreated or brought up with bad values.

Men also think that a prenup is an insurance policy, but an insurance policy for what; for when your wife cheats on you?  People who think that by setting up criteria (like if one party cheats, they will be entitled to less money) will deter the other from acting unfaithfully or make a divorce less messy have too much faith in humanity.  Every couple is lovey dovey, and will agree to be reasonable when things are going well, but when shiet hits the fan, you can be sure that cattiness will be unleashed.  It’s like buying your boyfriend or girlfriend expensive presents while you are dating, and then asking for all of it back when you break up.   Or, like when a wealthy man leaves his young fifth wife with most of his assets, his children will probably take the case to court – with or without a will.   Things will be messy, and people will fight for the pie if it is big enough.  The beauty of law, you see, is that it is up for interpretation, and therefore, will always have loopholes.

More importantly, a marriage is based on love, trust, and a commitment for a lifetime together.  If you even anticipate divorce, then you probably should not be marrying that person.  Yes, I understand that people change, but that is why you take them “in sickness and health, for better or worse as long as you both shall live,” not for as long as you are still married.

One Response to “Saying “No” To Prenups”
  1. sendtoharvey says:

    i like the post…
    taking brain damage…could use advice..take a look at my post if u like..
    its kinda frustrating…mind wont stop tickin away

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