Long Distance Relationships Have A Bad Rep

Long-distance relationships have such a bad reputation, when in fact, they are no different from a regular same-city relationship.  Sure, you don’t see each other as much, they cannot give you a hug when you need it, and you cannot hang out with each other all the time, but doesn’t that make you appreciate your time with them even more?  I am not advocating long-distance relationships, but I think a lot of people automatically turn down someone or a relationship just because of distance, which while understandable, is not giving the relationship a fair shot.

I personally do not think that same-city relationships have a higher success rate than long-distance ones.  When you think about it, you go through many same-city relationships before you find Mr. Right.  So, if being in the same city obviously does not guarantee anything, why are long-distance relationships automatically doomed for failure?  I actually think long-distance relationships are stronger than same-city relationships; we all know long-distance relationships are difficult, so unless you really like the other person, you are probably not going to make the effort.  The very fact that someone wants to pursue the relationship knowing that it is going to be harder makes it a stronger relationship already (you are dating them because you really like them, as opposed to convenience and accessibility).

While the strain in a long-distance relationship is sometimes unbearable, all relationships have issues.  Not all same-city relationships are created equal, and have their own issues.  Some same-city relationships fail because of trust, loss of chemistry, infidelity, being smothered or whatever else; which is no different than the issue of “distance” in a long-distance relationship.  An issue is an issue.

I know approximately five couples who are/were in long-distance relationships, and they are all working out/worked out.  One couple dated for 10 years, on-and-off long-distance, and are now married.  Another couple dated for long-distance while one was away for business school, and they are now married.  Another three couple started out long-distance, and are still going strong.  They also did it, and they did it from opposite ends of the world.

Furthermore, being in different cities allows you to build trust (you have no choice but to trust them), and it allows you to build relationship independence.  Many happily married couples preach having your own life, in order to maintain sanity, and prevent getting bored of each other.  Long-distance relationships teach you to have your own life, your own friends, and develop your own hobbies.

Again, I am not advocating everyone to get involved in long-distance relationships, because they are hard, I should know – I’ve been there, but I just wanted to say that it is not very different from a same-city relationship, and though the odds are not favorable, they are no less favorable than a same-city relationship.  So, hopefully, you will not disengage just because it’s long-distance, give it a shot like you would any other relationship.

7 Responses to “Long Distance Relationships Have A Bad Rep”
  1. mabruc 1982 says:

    Stumbled across you blog looking for advice. What do you think of websites like http://www.relationshipmemory.com. I found this website posted on another article about long distance relationships. I’ve been with my fiance for 8 years, 4 of them were spent with him in NY and me in PA. We’re using this website to help communicate ideas on planning the wedding! I’ve also been able to keep in touch with my best friend from high school and “meet” her new boyfriend on relationship memory. Maybe it’ll work for some people trying to keep the spice in your relationships or just keep in touch.

  2. Niecey C says:

    You’re absolutely right, I never even considered them for the very reasons you raise. But I like the perspective you present in this post. Nicely done 🙂

  3. sendtoharvey says:

    interesting…i like being able to be ‘right there’ though..helps sometimes

  4. You’re right, both of them are relationships and we shouldn’t dispense of them just because of the distance 🙂
    Although I know a couple who is in a long-distance relationship and they’re great. And another one that already broke up because of cheating and trust issues emerging from this.
    I guess you just need to really love the person you’re in a relationship with, long-distance or same-city, cause if you don’t it’s all for nothing…

  5. pillowchats says:

    You guys are all absolutely right, it does suck to be apart, and it’s nice to have them close.

    It just happens that most of the people I know, including myself, although hard, had great long-distance relationships.

    Especially now, with people being so mobile, and global, it’s very easy to meet, and fall in love with someone miles away.

    It’s just not fair to not even give it a shot, because you never know.

  6. toytoy3925 says:

    hi there! i came across this blog as i am in a long distant relationship. I am 25 and have been in it for almost a year! so i thought id put my 2 cents in..that the fact that i see people in the same town as me are fighting and breaking up, i can still say i am still with my boyfriend. I am from melbourne Australia and he is from New York. I have very very rough times, we do have our arguments and its real damn tough, but its funny that i see my friends fighting with their partners over why the dishes werent cleaned, or that they dont spend enough time with the other person, well damn what would i give to be able to even do the dishes with my man, or spend even a second with him! so it does make you stronger in the relationship, and you do tend to be closer, even though there is distance, but the hard part is fighting, but majority of the fights come from communication mis understandings… there are pros and cons, but the biggest pro is that i feel more in love with him than anyone i have ever met, so the distance makes me stronger. so i guess in the end, love rules, and if your not truely in it, then i dont recomend it. My friends say im crazy, that its self torture, and that i should just date a man in my area… but why would i want something easy that i am sure to get bored of… trust is a hard one, but if i didnt truely trust him deep down, then i wouldnt still be with him… as i said i dont recommend it, but if its love, and your both willing to put in, then why not. As my boyfriend said to me, ” why would i want to be in a long distance relationship if i didnt love you with all my heart and want to be with you” So he is coming here in October to live 🙂 its his way of saying thank you for going to new york so many times… you can read my blog as i vent my frustrations out… its the negative, and the positive of being away from the man i love… toyahslife/wordpress.com

  7. Tel says:

    I am struggling with mine after 3 and a half years. I am finding it really hard right now.


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