Marrying Young Is Good?

I want to bring everyone’s attention to this really amazing article published in Washington Post yesterday.  It is somewhat lengthy, but worth the time.  For those who do not wish to expend the time and energy to reading it, I have extrapolated the main points that I find are most accurate, insightful, and noteworthy.

  1. Young adults are peer pressured to AVOID thinking about marriage until their late 20s.  Otherwise, these people will carry the stigma of attending college or grad school only to get her “MRS degree.”  –> I also think people will constantly ask you to rethink your decision because you are obviously too dumb to make a mature and sensible decision until your late 20s (rolling my eyes)
  2. Getting married late is a biological and emotional problem.  As women age and become less fertile, they find themselves begging, praying, and borrowing to reclaim their fertility.  Studies have proven that the male sperm, too, can lose its vigor resulting in several developmental disorders (I read Down Syndrome, somewhere) for children fathered by older men
  3. Although the strongest argument against marrying young is that it remains the number 1 predictor (predictor, not cause of) divorce.  However, this is not a “cause” but merely an indication of a lack of maturity and patience. The author indicated that educated people, believe: “Add a postgraduate education to a college degree, toss in a visible amount of career success and a healthy helping of wealth, let simmer in a pan of sexual variety for several years, allow to cool and settle, then serve.  Presto: a marriage with math on its side.” –> I personally found that humorous
  4. He mentioned that what makes marriages work is not a good match (hence no need to make sure that you found the best of the best), but of mentality: such as communication, conflict resolution, a bedrock commitment to making it work  –> I cannot agree with this statement more.  It is all a matter of “do you want it to work.”  All things get old with time, the sex, the butterflies, the lovey-dovey, and after all that, what’s left is just your commitment to making it work; nothing else
  5. Marriage is a way to be more financially and environmentally responsible. Financially because you are pooling together resources, and eliminating shared costs.  Cohabiting is a less stable arrangement, because both parties have more flexibility to abandon ship (with marriages, there are divorces, children, etc.).   Marriage is also the greenest thing one can do.  It is estimated that the extra households created by divorce (or singles living separately?) cost the nation 73 billion kilowatt hours of electricity, and more than 600 billion gallons of water a year.  WOW

So there you have it, society has brainwashed us into thinking that marriage is an afterthought…”hmm, I have my MBA, I am a big-hitter, I have tons of money…what now?  I guess I will get married…”  Isn’t it ironic that women give up the best years of their life to work because they have high expectations of themselves, but become more lax with the quality of men they marry because they are old, desperate and resort to “whatever they can get?”

I say, the really smart women find him, mark him, and marry him, while pursuing her career all at the same time.  Yes, it is possible; I’ve seen it.

5 Responses to “Marrying Young Is Good?”
  1. Melody Waters says:

    I don’t understand the “green” argument. It’s not the marriage per se that keeps people together but rather the kids and the financial connections that tend to coincide with marriage. Seems to make more sense to just encourage co-habitation. If you make pre-marital co-habitation less costly (don’t attach a stigma to it), then more people will do it.

  2. Yes, it really is possible 🙂 I’m not married yet, but we’re working on getting a place together, getting engaged after that and getting married when we raised enough money ourselves to do that 🙂
    So I guess it’s all in the luck of meeting the right person who you love, because otherwise it’s no wonder that people wait too long or don’t notice love when it’s in front of them being too busy working, studying, etc. …

  3. This is modern life that created the conditions that led us to believe that getting married young is bad.

    Women try to be independent to create their own lives, they have to fight for everything and in this case there is no place for marriage. It’s not about proving that they can but it’s about wanting to live a better life, to support their children so they don’t need to live like their mom.

    Nobody brain washed no one.

  4. sendtoharvey says:

    giving up on the best years of the life to pursue educational and professional goals…interesting…
    my friend said that by the time she’s done with medical school, all the “good guys” are taken…
    so she’ll have to settle..that’s a bleak outlook in my opinion…but it has SOME merit i think..

  5. Melody Waters says:

    The subtle sexism in this post is interesting. Women are “brainwashed” and they “give up the best years of their life” by not getting married. I once had a professor who said that women cannot succeed in the business world unless they “behave like men.” Maybe women don’t get married until later because they enjoy not only having a career (“like a man”), but also not being tied down by a man during the “best years of their life.”

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