The Courage To Start Over Without Him


I penned this on behalf of a friend, who wanted to let everyone know that the pain will stop, and you will find happiness again.

*****

Six months ago, I was, or I thought I was, in a stable relationship with my boyfriend of four years, my first REAL love. Sure, we were not as passionate and lustful as we were when we first started dating, but things were good, or so I thought. My world nearly shattered into a million pieces that night when he told me that the chemistry just wasn’t there anymore. At that moment, I didn’t know how to react; all I could do was tell myself to breathe, but a million and one questions were going through my head. Why? When? How? Yet, all he could say was “I’m sorry”.

The months following the break-up were the worst I have ever been. Every movie I watched, every song I heard, everything in my life reminded me of him. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t work, and I couldn’t have fun without the thought of him haunting me. When surrounded by my best friends, laughing and having fun, I hated myself even more, because after all their time and effort to help me get over him, underneath those laughter and smiles, I was still crying inside. Staying at home sulking and feeling sorry for myself was my favorite pastime.

Then one day, as if by magic, I woke up, and it just stopped hurting. I wanted to eat, go to the gym, go dancing and singing, and treat myself to something really, really expensive. After I pulled myself together, and started to enjoy myself again, things started looking up. A few guys approached me, and I even mustered the courage to agree to my first date in over four years.

As I was prepping for my date, looking back at my own reflection in the mirror, I suddenly felt very light and free. Looking back, the relationship really was over; I just refused to believe it. I wanted to work through the issues, but I guess I always secretly knew it wouldn’t work out. Even though it really hurt initially, I am thankful for the relationship, because now I know a lasting relationship is supposed to feel right, and not doubtful. To anyone who doesn’t think they can make it, I promise you that the pain WILL stop, and you WILL be happy again.

As for that first date, it didn’t work out, but I didn’t despair. I will find my happiness soon, or better yet, happiness will find me first.

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Comments
6 Responses to “The Courage To Start Over Without Him”
  1. sendtoharvey says:

    for anyone that reads this, i can say that it’s exactly the same feeling that happened to me…we’ll minus the guy asking me out…i had to venture out and ask a girl out.
    anyways, i was about 3.5-4 years in, and got torched, it was the same kind of struggle, but that relationship taught me a lot…so yeah…
    just keep on going, and you’ll survive, it just sucked in the first 3-6 months after getting tossed aside…

  2. kaelovinlife says:

    so inspiring! great blog, my friend. thanks for the encouraging words. 🙂

  3. It’s been so long for me now that I’ve reported ‘happiness’ missing to the police. In a few more years it will be legally dead and I can get a hold of the money in its account

  4. crystal31 says:

    Oh wow… this is great. Thanks for putting this out there! Sometimes people that are hurting need to get perspective from others, because sometimes our pain is so big that we forget that other people has gone through that – hence gone through – and learned, survived and find love once again!

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