Getting Your Boyfriend’s Mom To Like You

Your boyfriend’s mom doesn’t like you.  That means your life and relationship is officially over, right?  Not really.  It can definitely strain the relationship and make maintaining a strong relationship harder than it already is, but your life is not over.  As much as you’d like to rectify everything, let your boyfriend take the lead.  Afterall, this is not really your fight; it’s your boyfriend’s fight.  He needs to tell his mom that you mean a lot to him and that he is not giving you up, so she needs to come around.  By doing that, not only did he tell her, but he showed her how much you mean to him.  You, on the other hand, just stay on the sideline, look pretty and help when he summons for your help.  Be prepared though, there will probably be some arse kissing so pucker up.

The first thing he needs to do is get to the bottom of why his mom doesn’t like you.  Is it because she feels threatened by you?  This is very likely the case if he is the only child or the only son.  This is when you come out of the trench and assist your boyfriend – or stay in the trench (literally).  When his mom is visiting, be courteous and let them spend some quality time together, alone.  Moreover, you spend almost every day with your boyfriend so you don’t “need” to hog his time when she is visiting (especially if she traveled a long distance to see her son).  Unless of course, the reason for her visit is specifically to meet you, then let her take the initiative to invite you to dinner or an outing.  Never invite yourself or assume you are invited.

Sometimes, the reason his mom doesn’t like you is because she doesn’t think you are “good enough” for her son.  Even if you are super attractive, uber intelligent, come from a very famous family and god’s gift to mankind, she may still think you are not good enough for “her baby”.  There are mothers who will never think anyone is good enough for her son.   In this situation, show her that you respect him, that you take care of him (but not mother him, otherwise she will think you are trying to replace her), that you love him and more importantly, that you are a team.  Extra credit: ask her for pointers on how to make that “mom’s famous lasagna” that he always talks about, or when she gives you advice on how to do something “just the way he likes it” respectfully thank her for the advice even if you disagree (but, don’t tell her you disagree and NEVER tell her that she is wrong).

If, you and your boyfriend, for the life of each other, can’t figure out why she doesn’t like you, take the initiative to ask her out to lunch.  Ask her what it is that bothers her about you (realistically though, you are probably pissed off and won’t do it, but try).  Perhaps it’s a miscommunication and you can set it straight.  The fact that you took the initiative to make good with her shows how important her baby is to you.  Avoiding her every time she visits will only exasperate her ill feelings towards you.

There is only so much you can do and, sometimes, it’s just a matter of time before she comes around.  Until she comes around, your boyfriend needs to demonstrate his continued support for the relationship and for you.  But, also try to understand your boyfriend’s situation and don’t give him a hard time about it.  It’s not his fault.


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