Thirty? Single? Embrace It!

So you are fast approaching the big Three O (thirty) mark and you are still single. You are nervous because “sh!t, will I ever find someone…; and what about babies???” You start to get really nervous and secretly hope that nobody is counting and you can fake being 27/28. Because being 27/28 is when it’s ok to be single.  You are just getting yourself together with your career and finances and you are taken seriously as an adult but not too seriously where you are just another boring authoritative figure. What a difference two years is.

Loneliness really kicks in when you get invited to birthday dinners (birthdays at the “sickest” club are too “happening”, at least for me), housewarming parties, holiday parties, or whatever other parties more mature people host, and all you see are couples. They are everywhere, constantly reminding you that you are a sad case of “singledom”.

Annoyingly, friends and family insist that you lower your standards because apparently asking for someone decent looking, slightly intelligent, likes kids, mildly mature, and has enough money saved up to put a down payment on a home is setting the bar too high. That’s when you see really attractive, intelligent and awesome ladies with men who are total losers.

Alas, all is not a complete loss; rather, it’s an opportunity to embrace all that life has to offer. Here’s why.

  1. You know who you are and what you want out of a partner and life
  2. You get to determine how you spend all your time – most women are in better shape when they are single
  3. Most of your friends who got married in their twenty-something are now filing for divorce. You skip that whole episode of drama and frustration
  4. The ONE (you know… that player you knew back in college) is all grown up, has goals, and ready to have more than just himself in his life
  5. The ONE also put on a few pounds already so you know what you are getting and there won’t be any surprises
  6. The ONE is also financially stable now, investing his money in sound investments like a nice home rather than a beer belly
  7. If The ONE already went through a divorce, then your chances of him getting it right the second time around is higher
  8. More importantly, thirties is when a woman comes into her sexual prime. Os are more pronounced AND you get to have them with different people. Whoo hoo!

You know how in life sometimes, if you hold out for just a little longer, you would get there? Like if you went to the gym three times a week (instead of never) over the last 6 months then you would have lost those few extra pounds? Well, in this case, just hold out for what you really want and eventually you will get it. Sometimes, it’s because what you’ve “always” wanted comes along but other times what you’ve “always” wanted changes and you accept someone you didn’t think you would have before. However, the difference between dating that guy when you are ready and dating him when you were just lonely is that you’ve changed, which means you are now happy to be with that person as they are rather than “settling”. Timing is everything in life. In the meantime, enjoy your thirties.


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